Pratik Ratadiya > Essays

Thoughts on turning 27: A sense of panic, a sense of calm

I turned 27 a couple of weeks ago - woohoo! But there is a sense of uneasiness in the air. 27 is young, but not young enough to be excused for stupidity. Society stops celebrating your achievements based on your age. A 22-year-old dropping out to start a food delivery app - how daring! A 27-year-old leaving his job to do the same thing - “stupid fellow thinks he knows something better than Zomato, ha!” People are now curious only about the material outcomes - How much return on your portfolio this year? Bought your first home? Brand of your car? What about marriage? Rarely do they talk about ideas and extraordinary dreams and causes anymore.

All in all, it feels like approaching a junction. One extraordinary outcome, and you will become the exception, the legend that they talk about and strive to be for years to come. But every other path will soon lead you to the auditorium of the ordinary - to be one amongst the many who have made peace with their daily lives, yet deep down carry a sense of disappointment about an unfulfilled cause. The ones who were passionate about doing something, but ended up settling for what was the most practical outcome given their circumstances and results. The conditions then became too comforting and peaceful for them to risk an exit to do something courageous. All they do then is play status games and judge the fellow audience. Which amongst these two paths will I end up on?

It’s like chasing down 14 runs in the last over of a game. You need just one big hit, but the longer it delays, the more chances that you will never make it. Such is life. The responsibilities and material expectations from you will only keep increasing. Seeing your parents get older is a different feeling. One of mine will turn 65 this decade - an independent, healthy life thereafter can be prayed for, but not always expected. The ideal age for me to settle down with a life partner will be in the next five years. Peak body age for men is 28-32. A 30 under 30 professional award is special; nobody cares about the 40 under 40s. All the timers are ticking, and they seem to tick faster with each passing year. Four years of college felt like an eternity, but 2022 feels like yesterday. Is the cost of inaction too high now? The thoughts make me uneasy.

When I look at a 23-year-old telling their million followers on how to invest in the stock markets, or a 21-year-old leading a $300M company, or a fellow 27-year-old who has travelled 75 countries while doing a big tech job, I introspect more on what I am missing – Hard work? Luck? Not being status-driven? Courage? It is not their outcomes that make me uneasy, but the yearning to know how I can improve my own processes. Where you start in your career significantly influences the future growth and trajectory. At 27, I only have a few years before I would be considered a “mid-career” professional, from where the opportunities I get will be more dependent on what I have achieved, and not on my future potential. A sense of panic comes in on realizing this small window of action that is left before it all might turn mundane. Mundane - one of the two M words that passionate individuals hate to worry about.

The other M word that starts to become a concern on turning 27 - Marriage. People are now “exploring” a lot in their 20s. Morality has more definitions than ever before. Both girls and guys want to experience it all before they “settle” down in life. The ones who earn a lot are often status-driven. As someone who is super mindful of their actions, it is hard to meet the right person in this new age of chaos. What values do I compromise on? What actions of theirs do I ignore? The married ones tell you it is not that serious. The ones with failed marriages wish they had thought more seriously before committing. Marriage is one of those things you hope you only have to worry about once. While there are no hard timelines in my mind about marriage, biological clocks and everything else in life just make it ideal to marry sooner rather than later from now on. So how does one figure out the right balance between thinking it through, yet not overthinking it to miss the forest for the trees? So many questions - urgh!

But not all is gloomy. While there is this sense of panic, there is also a sense of calm in growing older and slowly figuring out what truly matters in life. For a life that is so multidimensional, how can success be defined singularly? That young achiever CEO struggles with drugs and has a poor sleep schedule. That wanderer friend has a terrible relationship with their parents. That one big tech influencer I met wished they could overcome their panic attacks and anxiety issues. How can I strive for the glory of all these folks but ignore their struggles? Am I ready to give up my emotional and physical well-being in the pursuit of some material glory? Today, I get to work on what I want, lead a team, and work from an office across the Manhattan skyline, a city that most people only dream of visiting. I make more money than 99% humans on this earth. I have a family that supports every career decision of mine, however crazy they may be. I never have sleep issues. I have more good friends than I can count on my fingers - friends who show up for me whenever I need them, who pick up every call, and who still laugh and joke around like we are 13. I do not need to drink to socialize, nor take any pills to feel better. Should I not be counting these blessings? People struggle for years to have all these issues figured out. This realization brings calmness and a lot of gratitude. I also love what Akshaye Khanna said in an interview: “If I run a 500 crore business, am I not successful till I match Dhirubhai Ambani or Ratan Tata? 15-20 people from this country get to act on the big screen. What more can I ask for? Should I not be grateful for what I get to do?”

Will I ever make that one hit of glory – there is a sense of calm in knowing that there is no perfect formula to get there. Wildly successful outcomes are not as deterministic as we would like to believe. For every big early career spotlight story that I hear about, there are hundreds out there who did the exact same thing but never made it big. So many early achievers also withered away early. Many could not live a long life. The thing to focus on from these folks is that they enjoyed what they did, were good at it, and constantly showed up every single day. As long as I keep showing up every day, network with the right people, and have my heart in the right place – only good things will follow. The process needs to be right. The same is the case with the second M problem. As long as I present my authentic self, the right person will show up one day. It is a doubles game. It is important to find a compatible partner, not a perfect one.

The clock to 28 is on. There is a sense of panic – to make sure that I do not lack in my actions. There is a sense of calm – knowing that I do not control the outcomes. May the universe give me what my actions and thoughts deserve.

P.S. A few random musings when writing this essay

What do you think?