Pratik Ratadiya > Dating and Marriage

Normal online dating seems pretty suboptimal, and so do traditional Indian arranged marriages. A few photos and 4-5 sentences to present yourself, with the other person spending a minute at most to decide on swiping left or right - just does not seem right to me. I was really impressed by Chris Olah's willingness to create a public "dating doc", enabling a more long-form, earnest dating profile that gives as honest of a look into one's life. Here I am with mine. This will be a long but honest read, as it should be :)

About Me

Most of my life, I have prioritized doing what is right, not being judgmental about others' choices, and not taking life as seriously every day. I often have an unpopular take compared to my peers, but that does not hesitate me from standing up for what I believe is right. I like to dream big, put in a focused effort into achieving those goals, and celebrating the journey with my near and dear ones. I have spent the last nine years working on Artificial Intelligence way before it became cool, because I believe in a world where our biases do not hinder others from access to opportunities, and technology, if developed right, is the best solution to make this world a reality. This is why I preferred starting a company straight out of college with an idea and people that I believed in, than joining a big-tech job where my tasks would not always be driven by the need to improve the world.

While I aspire to keep doing high-impact work to help others, there is a lot more to seek from life. I want to have a family - a loving partner with whom I raise children someday, explore new places, and just be for each other. I hope this document gives you a good look into my life.

Pros of having me as your partner!

• For me, the three most important traits in a human being are honesty, humility, and kindness. I will always be brutally honest with you, even if we are not on the same page. I never let my achievements or financial standing define how I treat others. I would rather be kind and not judge someone for the choices they have made in life that have nothing to do with me. These qualities make me very easy going.
• I am a great listener. Thanks to the diverse set of connections and friends across countries, ages, and experiences, I have become a very good listener over the years. Good communication is the key to a strong relation, and listening is a major part of it. I should be able to actively engage and not just nod my way through your endless talks :)
• I can make you laugh, a lot. Many friends tell me that I should have become a standup comedian. Life is too big and hard to not joke about, and I leave no stones unturned to make somebody laugh and be happy.
• I am full of high and positive energy. Life of the party, life of the friend's group, the planner - a few roles I have happily performed over the years. I hate to crib, and am always up for cheering and keeping things positive. That said, I do love it when the other person reciprocates in their own way, and I am not the only one putting in the efforts.
• I rarely get into fights. I know girls love drama, so this might be a bummer :D The last time I fought hard and nasty with someone must be like ten years ago. I have never cut off a person in my life because of a bad fight. I maintain my boundaries, move on from wrong people, but in a way that is not short-tempered.
• I will always stand up for what is morally right. If you have done the right thing and with all honesty - there is no person or event that will stop me from supporting you. I will stand by you in helping you hold true to your own values, even when we disagree.
• You get to travel and explore a lot!. Getting to visit new places, trying new cuisines, experiencing art is a blessing, and I try to make the most of the opportunities I get. I already have dozens of crazy travel stories to share, and I am sure this is not even 10% of what life has to offer.
• I can be the primary breadearner of the house. I really don't want this to sound patriarchal or carry connotations about gender roles, but I am very open to take this responsibility and let you focus on what matters more to you without worrying about any money tradeoffs. I’m equally happy to share financial responsibility!

Cons

• I stick to my values and beliefs every day. Every once in a while, somebody will tell me to "take it easy just for today", and do something that I do not believe is morally right just that one time. I cannot. So if you wish to "explore" any objectively wrong things even once in your life, I still won't be able to support you.
• I find it hard to fake emotions. Because I am so high energy and caring of things I love to do, I can make it very obvious if I am not doing something out of genuine interest.
• My most negative emotion is disinterest, not anger. I just stop getting bothered by things than get angry or fussy about them. However, this can make for times when the other person is more emotionally passionate in a fight whereas I am still being practical about things. Overall, it works better to be rational, but in the moment, this can be a con, that I am actively working on.

We might be compatible if

• We have some common sources of excitement and happiness: While opposites attract, being able to share strong feelings of joy and excitement over common topics and hobbies can be a powerful foundation for a bond.
• You can stand up for your principles: If you are easily swayed by people around you, or adopt social views unreflectively, we might not be a good fit. I have deep respect for people who stand up for what they believe in, irrespective of if they are a minority.
• You do not have a status-driven lifestyle: I am not a very materialistic person, and it does not come naturally to me to judge things based on their brand name, or that it would look "cool" to carry them around. I would love to bond with someone whose actions and lifestyle is decided by needs and not whether it would increase their standing in the society.
• You are a Jain and a strict vegetarian, non-drinker, and non-smoker: I can never condone killing animals (including the egg industry). Alcohol is bad for the body, and so is smoking. These are deal breakers for me. I hope we are fundamentally aligned on these things. My family wants me to only marry a Jain, and I do think two people who share the same way of life (my definition of religion) will find it easy to bond with minimum friction.
• You bring (some) energy to a relationship and are not a super introvert: I hate to be the only person contributing to a relation, love or otherwise. I love to go out and do things, and have previously found it hard to bond with people who are strong introverts.
• You want to have biological kids and a family someday: I'm always excited at the prospect of starting a family with a partner in the future. Not merely because it's a societal norm, but because it's a journey we're both genuinely enthusiastic about and committed to. I would love for us to together explore how to make it a beautiful, significant, and vibrant experience, even during the challenging times. (I’m sure raising a family will come with plenty of tough and tiring moments!)
• You are a religious or spiritual person: I am a religious person and often read scriptures and philosophy to think about what truly matters in life. While I do not expect you to share the same enthusiasm or devotion, I definitely feel a lot more trust and connection can be developed with a person who shares similar thoughts on these topics.

My Interests

• Reading: I read a lot. My most used social media is Twitter. I read at least 10 non-fiction books a year.
• Music: In another life, I would be a full-time musician :')
• Dance: I am not a professional dancer, but that does not stop me from grooving to the beats - desi dancer, if I may say so haha.
• Geopolitics and current affairs: I am your expert for all things politics and current affairs. Nerd levels, almost.
• Cooking: Living alone for 4+ years means I can cook most Indian dishes (except rotis). 10+ types of paneer, 3+ types of dosas, and all dals and curries.
• Travel: I have been to more than 18+ states in the US, visited 8+ national parks, and been to major cities in this country. I love to do touristy things, and try the local food.

What am I likely to do on a free day?

• Driving to a new place / Hiking a new hill / Exploring a new food spot either solo or with a few friends
• Reading a new book / Writing a new essay
• Working on a side project that I hope makes me a billionaire one day xD
• Just sleeping on the bed all day while listening to some good old music.
• Trying to cook a new dish that I came across on Instagram in the previous week.
• Attending an online or offline event with people with whom I share a common interest.
• Occasional clubbing (for the dance) and house parties at a friend's place.

I asked a few friends to describe me

• "The one guy I can call at 2 am - be it to make me laugh, hear me out, or give me advice. Too kind and caring for the right ones."
• "A+ music taste. A+ knowledge of food places in any city. Always up for plans. One great friend."
• "Is there anything he cannot do? LEGEND"
• "I would say - kind, funny, nerdy"
• "You are going to date a philosopher, joker, and entrepreneur - all in one."

I love these idiots. Really blessed to have so many good friends in my life.

Let's connect!

If you think we might be a fit, please don't hesitate to reach out. I’d love to do a video call or meet in-person (I live near NYC) and just chat about interesting things and get to know you better. You can DM me at @pratikratadiya on Instagram or maybe send a good old-fasioned email to prratadiya at gmail dot com :)

If this is not for you, please feel free to also play matchmaker for someone else who you think could be a good fit. Matchmakers are underrated angels :')