Pratik Ratadiya > Dating and Marriage

Normal online dating seems pretty suboptimal, and so do traditional Indian arranged marriages. A few photos and 4-5 sentences to present yourself, with the other person spending a minute at most to decide on swiping left or right - just does not seem right to me. I was really impressed by Chris Olah's willingness to create a public "dating doc", enabling a more long-form, earnest dating profile that gives as honest of a look into one's life. Here I am with mine. This will be a long but honest read, as it should be :)

About Me

Most of my life, I have prioritized doing what is right, not being judgmental about others' choices, and not taking life as seriously every day. I often have an unpopular take compared to my peers, but that does not stop me from standing up for what I believe is right, while being respectful of other's choices. I like to dream big, put in a focused effort into achieving those goals, and celebrating the journey with my near and dear ones. I have spent the last nine years working on Artificial Intelligence way before it became cool, because I believe in a world where our biases do not hinder others from access to opportunities, and technology, if developed right, is the best solution to make this world a reality. This is why I preferred starting a company straight out of college with an idea and people that I believed in, than joining a big-tech job where my tasks would not always be driven by the need to improve the world.

While I aspire to keep doing high-impact work to help others, there is a lot more to seek from life. I want to have a family - a loving partner with whom I raise children someday, explore new places, and just be for each other. I hope this document gives you a good look into my life.

Pros of having me as your partner!

• For me, the three most important traits in a human being are honesty, humility, and kindness. I will always be brutally honest with you, even if we are not on the same page. I never let my achievements or financial standing define how I treat others. I would rather be kind and not judge someone for the choices they have made in life that have nothing to do with me. These qualities make me very easy going.
• I am a great listener. Thanks to the diverse set of connections and friends across countries, ages, and experiences, I have become a very good listener over the years. Good communication is the key to a strong relation, and listening is a major part of it. I should be able to actively engage and not just nod my way through your endless talks :)
• I can make you laugh, a lot. Many friends tell me that I should have become a standup comedian. Life is too big and hard to not joke about, and I leave no stones unturned to make somebody laugh and be happy.
• I am full of high and positive energy. Life of the party, life of the friend's group, the planner - a few roles I have happily performed over the years. I hate to crib, and am always up for cheering and keeping things positive. That said, I do love it when the other person reciprocates this energy in their own way, and I am not the only one putting in the efforts.
• I rarely get into fights. I know girls love drama, so this might be a bummer :D The last time I fought hard and nasty with someone must be like ten years ago. I have never cut off a person in my life because of a bad fight. I maintain my boundaries, move on from wrong people, but in a way that is not short-tempered.
• I will always stand up for what is morally right. If you have done the right thing and with all honesty - there is nothing that will stop me from supporting you. I will stand by you in helping you hold true to your own values, even when we disagree.
• We will probably travel and explore a lot!. Getting to visit new places, trying new cuisines, experiencing art is a blessing, and I try to make the most of the opportunities I get. I already have dozens of crazy travel stories to share, and I am sure this is not even 10% of what life has to offer.
• I can be the primary breadearner of the house. I really don't want this to sound patriarchal or carry connotations about gender roles, but I am very open to take this responsibility and let you focus on what matters more to you in your personal life without worrying about any money tradeoffs. I’m also equally happy to share financial responsibility!

Cons

• I stick to my values and beliefs every day. Every once in a while, somebody will tell me to "take it easy just for today", and do something that I do not believe is morally right just that one time. I cannot. So if you wish to "explore" any objectively wrong things in your life, I still won't be able to support you.
• I find it hard to fake emotions. Because I am really excited about things that I love to do, I can make it very obvious if I am not doing something out of genuine interest.
• My most negative emotion is disinterest, not anger. I just stop getting bothered by things than get angry or fussy about them. However, this can make for times when the other person is more emotionally passionate in a fight whereas I am still being practical about things. Overall, it works better to be rational, but in the moment, this can be a con, that I am actively working on.

We might be compatible if

• We have some common sources of excitement and happiness: While opposites attract, being able to share strong feelings of joy and excitement over common topics and hobbies can be a powerful foundation for a bond.
• You can stand up for your principles: If you are easily swayed by people around you, or adopt social views unreflectively, we might not be a good fit. I have deep respect for people who stand up for what they believe in, irrespective of if they are a minority.
• You do not have a status-driven lifestyle: I am not a very materialistic person, and it does not come naturally to me to judge things based on their brand name, or that it would look "cool" to carry them around. I would love to bond with someone whose actions and lifestyle is decided by needs and not whether it would increase their standing in the society.
• You are a Jain and a strict vegetarian, non-drinker, and non-smoker: I can never condone killing animals (including the egg industry). Alcohol is bad for the body, and so is smoking. These are deal breakers for me. I hope we are fundamentally aligned on these things. My family wants me to only marry a Jain, and I do think two people who share the same way of life (my definition of religion) will find it easy to bond with minimum friction.
• You bring (some) energy to a relationship and are not a super introvert: I hate to be the only person contributing to a relation, love or otherwise. I love to go out and do things, and have previously found it hard to bond with people who are strong introverts.
• You want to have biological kids and a family someday: I'm always excited at the prospect of starting a family with a partner in the future. Not merely because it's a societal norm, but because it's a journey we're both genuinely enthusiastic about and committed to. I would love for us to together explore how to make it a beautiful, significant, and vibrant experience, even during the challenging times. (I’m sure raising a family will come with plenty of tough and tiring moments!)
• You are a religious or spiritual person: I am a religious person and often read scriptures and philosophy to think about what truly matters in life. While I do not expect you to share the same enthusiasm or devotion, I definitely feel a lot more trust and connection can be developed with a person who shares similar thoughts on these topics.

My Interests

• Reading: I read a lot. My most used social media is Twitter. I read at least 10 non-fiction books a year.
• Music: In another life, I would be a full-time musician :')
• Dance: I am not a professional dancer, but that does not stop me from grooving to the beats - desi dancer, if I may say so haha.
• Geopolitics and current affairs: I am your expert for all things politics and current affairs. Nerd levels, almost.
• Cooking: Living alone for 4+ years means I can cook most Indian dishes. Just help me with the rotis please :')
• Travel: I have been to more than 23 states in the US, visited 15 national parks, and been to most major cities in this country. I love to do touristy things, talk to people, and try the local food.

What am I likely to do on a free day?

• Driving to a new place / Hiking a new hill / Exploring a new food spot either solo or with a few friends
• Reading a new book / Writing a new essay
• Working on a side project that I hope makes me a billionaire one day xD
• Just sleeping on the bed all day while listening to some good old music.
• Trying to cook a new dish that I came across on Instagram in the previous week.
• Attending an online or offline event with people with whom I share a common interest.
• Occasional clubbing (for the dance) and house parties at a friend's place.

I asked a few friends to describe me

• "The one guy I can call at 2 am - be it to make me laugh, hear me out, or give me advice. Too kind and caring for the right ones."
• "A+ music taste. A+ knowledge of food places in any city. Always up for plans. One great friend."
• "Is there anything he cannot do? LEGEND"
• "I would say - kind, funny, nerdy"
• "You are going to date a philosopher, joker, and entrepreneur - all in one."
• A few cons: "May not be the most organized person in the room", "Talks about the randomest of things sometimes", "Can make you laugh at the most inappropriate time"

I love these idiots. Really blessed to have so many good friends in my life.

Let's connect!

If you think we might be a fit, please don't hesitate to reach out. I’d love to do a video call or meet in-person (I live near NYC) and just chat about interesting things and get to know you better. You can DM me at @pratikratadiya on Instagram or maybe send a good old-fasioned email to prratadiya at gmail dot com :)

If this is not for you, please feel free to reach out as a potential friend, or maybe also play matchmaker for someone else who you think could be a good fit. Matchmakers are underrated angels :')